Tell her she can't have a vagina
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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