I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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