I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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