i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
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I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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