Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
