she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
