Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
