every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
