I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is Oprah even human
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
