check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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