White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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