dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Randomize
