Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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