i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
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I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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