We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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