Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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