He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
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it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
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he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on