I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.