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i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
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