I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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