well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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