how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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