I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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