Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Green mimosas i think yes
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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