I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We just shotgunned beers for America
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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