I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
