all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
