my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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