if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
