I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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