The best revenge is premature balding
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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