what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
