I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
