We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
