Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize