her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i think my cat just said my name.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
