just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
