either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
