but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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