are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
