singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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