After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She even gives head with a lisp.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
