You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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