ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
