Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
