you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
