fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
