she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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