dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Randomize
