why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Still dying that you shit outside
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize