69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
