I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
