why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
