who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
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