And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
