Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize