Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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