I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
