im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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