My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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