Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it because I queefed?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
