I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.