I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds