Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
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Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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