he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
