Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
