There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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