17 year olds will be the death of me.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
