There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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