And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
