is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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