yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize