Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think my moral compass just broke
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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