i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
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Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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