i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize